I have an exam tomorrow
Not just any exam
But a Cambridge exam
the exam for those who are elite
and privelleged enough to take it.
Currantly I'm in my mother's study, supposedly studying but failing. Fail is an interesting word, it can rouse anxiety and despair in some, while others revel in using it ---> see www.failblog.org for an example. I'd rather not fail if all possible, it would mean being on the lower half of the bell curve where 50% of the rest of the population lie, which is mediocre. And I'd rather not be associated with mediocrity, I'd rather not that whenever others think of me the word mediocre is the first word to pop up in their heads instead of much more favourable words like pioneer, or belligerent, or girl. I'd rather not be famed as "most likely to be mediocre" in the school yearbook.
Moral of the story? Don't try unless you know you'll succeed?
There's a disturbing amount of dust on this keyboard of my mothers. I'll be sure to tell her that.
The 7th formers in my bio class were talking about graduating which is something which I won't experience for another 2 years... not sure whether that's a good thing or not cause I'd looove to escape right now and be free, but then when I really think about it I'd have to cook and clean for myself, and actually pay for things which is not the most pleasant thing. The thing is, I like living with my parents who do every thing for me which leaves me with more time to procrastinate and write pointless blogs like this one. Ahh, such bliss is teenagehood, the turbulent transition between an idyllic childhood and a harsh but liberal adulthood . We know that the world sucks but we can't do anything about it, we're trapped in a little box of parental expectations and limited social experiences.
BTW everyone's obsessed with the Twilight series! I'll have to add it to my list of books to read along with Gone with the Wind, Pride and Prejudice, The Time Traveller's Wife, and an innumerable amount more, like Kerri's Mum's book about the Children of God which I still haven't read yet. If you're reading this Kerri, I'll return it to you possibly in the next few months or years.
-Procrastination - stress from doing nothing
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
As I promised, photos!!!!!!




















Why, mama, you look ridiculous in that stupid hat! And I don't care much for your dumb dress neither, Cecily. -- Cambridge English forever!!!!! Importance of Being Earnest
A particularly significant event in my period of hiatus



Um I got my hair cut. It was pretty epically long beforehand. I kinda annoyed my stylist cause I had so much hair she had to charge me $5 extra . And I didnt help by changing my mind about styles. I started with just some layering which took some effort then I decided naaaaah i wanted it to go on a gradient to the back then came the fringe and at that point she could've torched me alive with a straightening iron she was so frustrated so it wasn't spectacularly great but I had a feeling she would've threatened me with an electric trimmer if I made another comment ...
It was good, but I'll miss my natural curling rapunzel hair *small tear*
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Last post in.... July! *blinks*
That makes it.... 4 months ago! Joy! And I haven't been away from the computer or internet so I can rule that excuse out for not posting.
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I'm now 17 years of age, not that it really makes a difference to my maturity level. I've still got the yoyo body clock: speaking of which, my amount of relative sleep each night of the week just past varied from 4 hours a night to 13 hours. Surprisingly last night I got a pretty staple 8 hours and I woke up with the most massive headache, like someone had taken a well sharpened rock and brought it down on the top of my head as if they were a clever primate opening a nut.
How many weeks are left till NCEA exams? Not sure. That's how awareness I have of time and other things that generally require a brain. Wait I'll check the calendar beside my bed (wahwahwaaahhhh noise of disappointment) ........................ exactamundo 4 weeks from today! I'm panicking. Really.
Somehow I don't think its really sunk in that an entire year's worth of work comes down to these few weeks and they're the sole opportunity in which you can prove your intelligence to the scrutiny of the world. Not that I had any intelligence anyway.
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Dear blog,
I hate my life *slitslit* I wish poor people can be friends with rich people *slitslit* I want there to be less mistreatment of animals *slitslit* People place too much emphasis on appearances nowadays *slitslit* my parents wont let me get a car *SLITSLIT*
AFTERNOTE: by the way i dont actually slit my wrists its just an over dramatisation to attract attention.
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What's happened in the last 4 months?? it seems to have flown by so fast, like businessmen on the main street during their lunchbreak. What have I accomplished? The usuals: eating, sleeping, drinking... curing world hunger, discovering a cure for cancer, finding an inexhaustible source of energy...... maybe not the last one: that'll take jobs away from people :P
I was watching Beauty and the Geek last night (which was season 4), and I'll admit to having watched the first season hosted by Ashton Kutcher; but even though this is the most 'deep' subject matter MTV has ever based a reality tv show on its still got the essense of every reality tv, that is, stereotypes and shallow sexist ideals that don't even apply to society!!! It suggests that only males are geeks, and even they can be sought after by pneumatic blondes for their obsessive intelligence and pipe bomb social skills. It's a shock to everyone when, in season 4, they introduce a female 'geek' and a male poser, but she's not even a rocket scientist or anything shes a musicologist . We know secretly all the rocker boys love the girls with thick rimmed glasses , quiet intuitive contemplation, and an IQ to boast about.

- The ones who are most critical of society are usually the ones who can't fit in it
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